On his toes, tutu wilting, tights shredded, shoulders slumped, exiting stage Left from the White House, there is no applause for Rahm Emanuel. Rahmbo could not rescue the President. Mission failed. The tough guy ballet dancer now wants to try his commando tactics to rescue Chicago. He wants to be mayor. He is bringing his tutu, tights, yoga mat, and stubby finger to the City of Big Shoulders. Someone should tell him he needs a change of costume, better, a change of venue.
Blacks do not want him. Hispanics do not want him. Middle class workers on the Southwest and Northwest sides do not like him. No one is sure if the effete lake front liberals like him. They do not like anyone. Supposedly, the business community likes him- why they would is a mystery, as he has been joined at the hip with the most aggressively anti-business administration in modern history.
Rahm was never really liked in Chicago. His last elections were engineered and fabricated by Democratic power broker and associate of mobsters, Jimmy DeLeo. He is retiring. Rahmbo dances alone now. Everyone knows he is a loose limbed over educated machine hack. He only received the love in Washington D. C. Democratic power circles. It is said Nancy Pelosi still gets the flutters when his name is mentioned. Does Rahmbo really expect us to swoon over his rescue of our city?
Will we gape in awe when Rahmbo rappels naked from a helicopter, with his stubby finger locked and loaded, pointed in the chests of bad guys? Will we swoon when he takes on the forces of evil who run this burg? Rahmbo leaping across the political landscape, armed to the cammo tutu, ready to fight. Whirling and twirling. Take them all on with his lethal plies. A one man ballet troupe. One tiny dancer against all odds.
What about the long suffering media heroine, Marine Caroll? Every good tale needs a long suffering heroine. Will he rescue her from the hum drum doldrums in her labored quest for political acceptance? Will he swoop through her office window, ballet slippers blazing, grab her and take her away from the forces of evil in her head?
Enemies are being arrayed. Professional Democratic hacks- Hollywood Hendon, Little Louie Gutierrez, Miguelito Del Valle, Shyster Fioretti, Black political preachers, community organizers- the whole list of power broker wannabes, opportunists, and political mercenaries. All arrayed against Rahmbo, the epitome of ruthlessness. The man with no plan. Will our hero prevail? How many bodies will he leave behind in his quest for fame and glory?
The tale is still unfolding. Rahmbo is coming. Hacking his way through the political jungles of Chicago. He is mumbling, swearing, jabbing, leaping, twirling, and pointing. Get ready Chicago. A one man troupe is coming to take them all on. Leave them all in the dust. The last dancer standing.