Superintendent Fancy Pants sits on his record

Several hundred Chicago Police Officers protested at police headquarters yesterday.  They were demanding the resignation of Superintendent Fancy Pants.  Coward that he is, he was not in the building.  He was probably not even in the city.  Maybe fled back to Roswell, New Mexico for a tune up.  There are rumors a space ship returned.

Weis said he had no plans to let the protest affect his workday. Weis is standing behind his record, pointing out achievements that came under his leadership. 

What record?  What achievements?  What earth shattering reforms has he put in place?  Does he consider low morale achievement?  Does he consider making officers fear to do their jobs the proper way an achievement?  Does he consider being despised an achievement?

He claims there has not been any scandal on his watch- that we know of.  He probably put the lid on anything coming out.  Here is one he can check out right now.  Fancy Pants should check the department record of one of his recently promoted high ranking members.  The extremely high number of sustained complaints and lawsuits.  Repeated matters of a Clintonesque nature.

In the history of the Chicago Police Department, the worst Chicago Police Superintendents were better than and outshone Jody Weis by an outside mile.  Weis is not only out of his league, he can not even find the ball park.  He could not find his posterior if he was sitting on his hands. 

Crime may have gone down, but, criminals are more brazen- they know they can get away with it. Gangs have grown exponentially and have become a major threat to our security.  They are no longer urban terrorists.  They are well equipped urban armies.  Drug sales and distribution are going through the roof.  Maybe they should be put on the Mercantile Exchange and traded like pork bellies.  Police officers are being assaulted- 20% up- at an escalating rate.  Criminals no longer fear the police.  

People are afraid to walk the streets at night in some of the safer, gentrified, or more upscale neighborhoods due to robberies being committed- brutal robberies, entailing severe beatings.  People, especially young people, are being shot everyday due to gang and drug related activities.  Numbers may be down, but criminals are more brazen and violent.  They know they can get away with it.  They do not fear being caught or even prosecuted.

“In 2009, we trained 36,000 police officers, unprecedented in recent years,” he said.

There were 36,000 Chicago Police Officers?  Where are they all hiding?  Is there some secret army of blue the citizens have not been told about?  Where are they in the budget?  Fancy Pants better go back to school and study simple arithmetic.  4-2 does not equal 36,000 (unless you are a Democrat).  Or did he speak out of context?  Do we have a nuance problem here?

Superintendent Fancy Pants has one thing going for him.  A massive ego.  He thinks he is too big to fail.  He does not know Chicago.  Three years and he has learned nothing.  No matter his so called record, when he leaves, there will be a big sigh of relief.  People will feel safer.  The cops will return to doing their jobs- the right way.  He calls it business as usual; we call it police work.  Exactly twenty four hours after he is gone, we will all say the same thing-  Jody who?  

That’s the Chicago way!


About Peter V. Bella

Peter V. Bella is a passionate cook and photographer. Mr. Bella started cooking as a child with his parents. He has taken professional courses through the years. Mr. Bella a a freelance photojournalist and writer based in Chicago.
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